When I found out I was pregnant, I asked everyone what I should expect. I was so excited yet so nervous at the same time. I wanted to know EVERYTHING. I swear I thought I knew it all by the time I was 8 weeks. But, as a first time mom, I guess that’s pretty much impossible.
I expected the stretch marks, the weight gain, the morning sickness, the cravings, I even expected to pee a lot more than usual. But, nothing prepared me for the moment I would pee… on myself. I laughed a little to hard, and that was it. After that, a never ending amount of unexpected side effects seemed to hit me. For someone who doesn’t like surprises, I wasn’t too crazy about this.
I honestly thought the first trimester was going to be the toughest. I now know that is complete bull and the third trimester is it’s own monster. Don’t get me wrong, it’s all worth it and I love my little man more than anything; but it was still an interesting ride.
Let’s discuss the things no one tells you about pregnancy. Most of these happen in the third trimester and definitely will not happen to every single person. You may experience some and not others, or you may not experience any at all (lucky you!). I discussed this with a ton of pregnant women, mothers, and OB’s before posting just to make sure they are all pretty common and it’s not just me. Then thanked God that they weren’t just me! So here it is:
*Might be TMI, so read on with caution.*
What no one told you about pregnancy:
1) You may not be able to wipe yourself after using the bathroom: Seriously. I was one of the unlucky ones who at 35 weeks could no longer reach over my huge behind or my huge stomach. I basically had to lunge just to clean myself. Then I found it easier to jump in the shower and spray down the area. Then, since I am cloth diapering, I found that attaching the diaper sprayer to the toilet before the baby was born was the best idea yet.
2) You will probably pee your pants: You probably thought pad
s and panty liners were a thing of the past… nope. This only happened to me once because I laughed a little too hard, but I have heard tons of stories of women who pee on themselves in their sleep, every time they sneeze, or just constantly leak a bit. Sometimes you might think your water broke, but it’s really just pee. Baby is resting on your bladder along with a lot of other internal organs, so your body just can’t help it.
3) Your husband may be scared to have sex with you: This can either be a good thing or a
bad thing. Some women are too tired or uncomfortable for sex anyway. Others want it more often. I was in the middle. My husband, however, didn’t want to have sex with me after 36 weeks. He was too scared he was going to “mess something up” or “make me go in to labor.” Even after I tried to warn him that there was going to be a complete dry spell for a few weeks after delivery… nothing. Apparently this is pretty common in many relationships.
4) Your vagina will become the Amazon: There will come a time where you can no longer see your lady parts, let alone groom them. Also, it’s not only the hair on your head that grows longer & faster when you are pregnant. So, yeah. I was so embarrassed at first, but the OB’s said this is pretty much everyone.
5) Swamp crotch: Again, don’t get rid of those panty liners or pads. Your body is making way more estrogen now and causing more blood to flow down to your lady parts, which means you are going to have a ton of discharge. Along with sweat because you’re now always hot. It’s just a hot mess down there. Panty liners and wipes definitely help keep things fresh.
6) Lightning crotch: It hurts. Oh man does it hurt. It can be baby kicking you in the vagina, Braxton Hicks contractions, baby repositioning, or several other thing. But, one thing is for sure- it hurts.
7) Your boobs will just sag over your belly: Why? I don’t know. But it’s not pretty.
8) Your feet will grow and your shoes won’t fit like they once did: Whether they are swollen or just getting fatter, you will notice your shoes getting tighter. You may need to buy a size up until they go back to normal.
9) Your immune system is not what it used to be: Your body is focused on protecting baby now. You may get sicker more often and are limited to what medications you can take, so you just have to deal with it.
10) You won’t realize how big you are: You will bump in to things, a lot. Because you thought you fit… but not anymore! You may even knock kids over when you turn around. Or they may be shorter than your belly and you literally will not see them.
11) The month of practice labor: The last month of pregnancy can be pretty rough. Your body starts preparing for labor and it can be pretty painful. Braxton Hicks contractions may be kicked up a notch and the pelvic pressure is insane. You may take a trip to L&D and think you are in labor, but they’ll just send you back home. This can actually be more than a month. For me, it started at 34 weeks and it came and went.
12) Your vagina will probably grow: All that extra blood your body is producing has to go somewhere. It may feel tender and sore and can become hard to walk. Luckily, it’ll go back to normal after baby.
13) Your breasts will feel like rocks: Sore and sensitive breasts definitely come back in the third trimester. And it is so much worse. Your breasts will literally feel like rocks and will just hurt.
14) Baths are not what they used to be: Not only do you have to watch the temperature of the water as to not overheat, but you have to make sure you can get back up! The bigger you are, the harder it is to get out of the tub. Also, you cannot fill it as much as you used to. I filled it up as I normally would one day, hopped in, and the tub completely overflowed. Cleaning up all that water at 8 months pregnant was not fun!
15) You won’t sleep much the last few weeks: I’m not sure why people always tell you to enjoy the last few weeks of sleep… it’s not possible. You wake up in the middle of the night to pee, or because you’re thirsty, because your hungry, or just because you’re extremely uncomfortable.
16) Cleaning around the house can make it impossible to walk the next day. You will be so very sore. An ice pack or warm bath will help, if you can still manage to get out of the tub on your own.
17) Your hair will grow longer, stronger, and faster… but not just on your head. I briefly mentioned this earlier, but let me explain. You will grow hair in places you have never grown hair before. It may be facial hair or it may be boob hair, you won’t know until it happens. Thank you prenatal vitamins and hormones!
You will forget all about these once you get to hold your little one, though… until the next time!
Is there anything else I missed that you would like to add? Please feel free to add any other ones in the comments section!
